Life is a Series of Intentional Choices

Today I made a choice.

Rather than my usual trip to Starbucks to do my assignments for class, I stayed home. 

I went onto our back deck and that is where I chose to do my work for the day.

Before tackling that work, however, I made another choice.

I chose to pick up two of the books I am currently reading and I chose to read one chapter in each before starting my work for the day.

The truth I am coming to realize more fully in this season of my life is that life is a series of intentional choices.  

Whether we own intentionality consciously or not, our lives are made up of intentional choices that we make every day.

It seems like my entire life has been focused on productivity.

In school - Make good grades.

At work - Be the one everyone can depend on.

At church - Be the one that never says no, after all the greatest examples we have of Christ-followers are martyrs... right?

I am beginning to recognize that one of the greatest blessings in my life is my oldest daughter.

Not it's not that I love my youngest any less, but expecting my oldest daughter became the means by which God began to break down the lies I have lived with for most of my life.

When we discovered we were expecting Myka, I was stretched to my breaking point.

My health was impacted by pregnancy...

My emotions were raw from extremely difficult situation I was dealing with...

We were moving into a house that needed a lot of TLC

and over the course the my pregnancy 

several relationships began to change leaving me with an incredible feeling of loss as I tried to hold on because being alone scared me.

All of this was so much to handle emotionally and physically,

Myka was the way God began to teach me about choosing intentionally.

Two years later when we found out we were expecting Eden I was much more intentional with how I managed my health, emotions and time.

Sometimes I am hard on myself because I think that things should happen more quickly than they do, but I am noticing that it is actually the small intentional choices we make and not the grandiose life changing decisions that truly impact the fabric of our lives.

Shortly after Myka was born I met our neighbor over the back fence.  Over the past nearly 3 years we have chatted, shared life in small ways and mourned together over the loss of our beautiful flowers last summer!  

The last few weeks as the weather has improved, we have been working in our yard, trying to make a restful and peaceful place to relax.

We have visited with those same neighbors learning more about this little section of town we all call home.

As this has happened not only have we started to get to know our neighbors better, Myka started a friendship.  She now heads out to the back fence to see if she can find her "friend" to visit with when she is playing in the yard. 

The first time Myka ran to the back fence calling for "anybody" her friends, I had a realization...

In a 2017 way, I am living the dream I had as a little girl...

As a pre-teen, I devoured books from the 1950's...

I dreamed of a life where my friends came over or you visited with the neighbors across the back fence.

I dreamed of walking around town, walking to the store and having the shops and restaurants where people recognized you.

As an adult, I had given up on that dream...

It's just not the world we live in anymore...

And then I realized that by intentional choices over four years of marriage, 

that's exactly the life I am living.

It looks different, but I can walk to a market right down the street from our house.

I visit a local coffee shop, where people know me.

I can visit restaurants on Main Street just a few blocks from our house and find people I know.

We all make intentional choices....

We choose to not go against the status quo...

Or we choose to ask if there is a better way?

We choose to meet our neighbor and get to know them...

Or we choose to hide in our homes and behind our privacy fences.

We choose to engage in and get to know our community...

Or we operate out of what we think we know about those who surround us.

We make choices every day.

We intentionally chose everyday.

Sometimes I am learning it takes years to see what exactly those choices produce,

but they will produce something.

I encourage you to take a moment today.

Look at past choices and present choices.

Are your intentional choices creating the life you want to live?

I'd love to hear what Intentional choices you and your family are making!

Please share in a comment!

Lessons from Holy Week

So it is Monday, April 17, 2017, the day after Easter.

I find myself with an interesting question today...

How did Easter change you?

Now that the new outfits are no longer new and back in the closet,

Now that the Seder meals and Good Friday services are over,

Now that the eggs are collected and emptied and bowls and baskets of candy liter the landscape of our homes, 

How have we been changed?

As someone who identifies as a Christ follower, I experienced this Holy Week in a very unusual way this year.

Maybe it is the reality of being in seminary and being required to direct passages of Scripture on a weekly basis...

Maybe it is just my inquisitive nature, that wants to learn and understand...

I think it is more likely that it is all of the above and even more importantly the stage of my own personal journey and our family's lifestyle choices.

I watched this week as many friends celebrated traditions that have deep roots in the history of religion.  

I saw invitations to Good Friday services, Egg Hunts and pictures of Maundy Thursday services and Seder Meals.  

As each of these things captured my attention, many of them things I have taken part of in the past, I found myself searching for the lesson for meaning.

As I saw statistics pour across my computer screen in the days leading up to Easter regarding the need for one final push to invite people to church in any way possible, I felt confused...

Inviting people to church is not a bad thing...

I believe in sharing the amazing message of what God through Christ has done for all of us...

So why does it all feel off?

As I started to examine and ask questions about this Holy Week we were celebrating I realized something when I started to ask the question:

 "What was Jesus trying to do during this time we are commemorating?"

I found an interesting answer.  What we call Easter was about the resurrection, yes, but more importantly it was about a New Beginning.  When Jesus went away, life would never be the same for those who had shared those three years of his ministry with Him.  What we celebrate as Holy Week was never solely about the end goal of the Resurrection.  It was about preparing those closest to Him for life after He was gone.  It was Jesus pouring one last piece of Himself into those that He loved and who had been chosen to carry on His work.

And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten saying "This cup which is poured our for you is the new covenant in my blood..."

Luke 22:19

When I started to think about this I realized how little Easter has impacted me in the past.  It is a day on the Christian calendar that I have celebrated the fact that the Resurrection saved ME from MY sins.  Yes, there was some minor concern about others, but it was always with some thought in my head that then they will be on a level with ME when they see their need for Christ.

I honestly do not think I'm alone in this.

As I reflected on Holy Week with this in mind, I started to see that one more my word for 2017 has impacted my life in an interesting way...
In becoming Intentional about the way we use our resource of time, we ended up with a Holy Week that looked like this:

This year on Maundy Thursday, we got out of our Hobbit Hole...

We went for a walk around our community....

We talked to people...

We were forever changed in the way we see some parts of our town.

On Good Friday we again got out...

We ate in a restaurant with people we did not know...

We shared smiles and laughs as our 2 year old attempted to entertain the entire restaurant by randomly belting out Moana songs...

We now share a part of our story with these strangers, however brief.

On Saturday, we joined our community at the park for an Egg Hunt...

We visited with people in line...

We shared knowing smiles and laughs with other parents at the restlessness of our massive line of toddlers and infants under 3, anxiously waiting to get to the field full of eggs...

We came to know our community a little better.

Easter Sunday, I was baptized...
I was recognizing the need to have more symbolic break with some pieces of my past that held painful memories.
What better time than Easter to symbolically follow Christ example of death to an old life, but resurrection to a new identity in Him?

This year, I had the realization that like anything, the only true and lasting value that Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter hold is if we allow them to change us.
We can continue the same celebrations every year, but they are mere traditions if in the end we only take away an emotional feeling in the moment.

The true lessons that are held in the Holy Week are found if we stop looking to just the surface traditions and dig deeper to ask what is Jesus really trying to teach here?
Why is His last supper with the disciples so important?
What are we suppose to learn from the last moments Jesus shares with those closest to Him?
 We are given a somber reminder that we are all capable of being like Judas, sharing life with Jesus, but never letting Him truly change us.

So what did you learn from Holy Week this year?
I would love to hear in a comment!

Intentional Rest

Have you ever had a moment when you just needed rest?  Solitude?  Quiet?  

A few weeks ago, our church began a series for Lent titled Quiet: Hearing God Amidst the Noise.  I was excited.  Whitespace is something I have been trying to incorporate into my personal life, but also our family life since before our oldest daughter was born.  

This would be encouraging.

Or so I thought...

What followed in the next few weeks were feelings of extreme Overwhelm.  I wanted Quiet, but no matter how much I tried nothing seemed to help.  

Then about a week ago I had a realization...

I was starting to burn out...

Somewhere along the line in the first few months of this year I had begun to feel overwhelmed.  

I was being pulled so many different directions.  

None of them bad, but none of them were cohesive and moving forward together, rather they were all different directions and changed every week!

In 1 Kings 19, we see the story of Elijah... One of my favorite parts of this particular part of Elijah's journey comes in verse 12 where Elijah hears a whisper, and that whisper is God speaking to him.  Since first beginning to invest in Spiritual Whitespace, I have cherished this experience of Elijah's where it emphasizes that God was not in the chaos and loudness, but could only be heard when Elijah stopped and listened.

When our pastor started this series on Quiet, that was my focus.  I wanted the noise to stop so I could get to the quiet.  Then I went back and examined Elijah's story just a little more and noticed something that I had forgotten.  Before Elijah could even be present to hear the whisper, he had to rest.  In verses 3-6, we see that Elijah has a period where he rests, eats and repeats.  Without the rest, Elijah was incapable of hearing God.  

So I made some decisions...

I cut back on nearly everything that I could that wasn't absolutely necessary and if it was something that felt scattered and disorganized I removed myself as much as possible.

When that started I noticed that I stared napping more....

Nearly everyday found me searching for those moments when my body demanded rest.

I said no to good things so I could build my capacity to say yes to better things.

I started listening to more podcasts, reading and spending more time cuddling my girls. 

After about a week of this I am finally starting to feel more like myself.  

The better version of me.

One that is not overwhelmed and pulled too many directions.  

I still notice the need to move slowly, but I can tell that the feeling of burn-out is receding.  

As that happens, I find myself seeing the tiredness that surrounds me.  

The exhaustion as we push to make things happen without stopping to ask if those are even the things God still wants from us.  

We are in the season of Lent.  

I just had the realization that what I gave up during Lent is something I hope to maintain long after its 40 days are over.  

I have given up exhaustion and the "should's" for rest, quiet and the chance to hear God's voice more clearly.

What would that look like for you? 

Would you like to hear God's whisper?

What if for the next two weeks you gave up the crazy demands that drain you and took the time to find moments of rest?

What are ways you could start that today?