A Different Vantage Point

Sometimes I seem to have such random thoughts that even I wonder where they come from and today was one of those days.  For some reason on the way to church the movie Vantage Point came to mind.  I believe it was a combination of events of the past week, reading material, conversations and life in general that seemed to randomly produce the thought process that included this particular movie. 

It was a movie that I enjoyed the first time I watched it because of its interesting twist.  Without giving away too much of the storyline, the thing I liked about it was the fact that the same events were shown through the eyes of different people and each time you got another person's perspective the storyline was given a deeper dimension.  The interesting thing with Vantage Point is that you get to the end of the movie and realize that in the end the reality everyone thought was true as viewed from their personal perspective actually changed when you put together all of the different perspectives that surrounded one 15 minute slice of time. 

I think especially a couple of conversations I've had this week have shown me how one dimensional my view of life can be.  It's almost like I recognize and acknowledge on some level that other people exist and matter and even have different perspectives, but it's a little harder to add their dimension to the storyline of my life.  To do that means I must make myself vulnerable.  I am required to share parts of myself that I would rather keep hidden or at the very least acknowledge to others that those fears and insecurities exist in me.  It means I'm exposed in some way and once that happens the person I've shared a part of myself with becomes a part of my story and in doing so has the potential to affect my perspective.

Think about it though.  How would our lives and relationships change if we could find a way to step away from ourselves and add the dimension of someone else's perspective to our world? It doesn't mean we have to agree 100% with their viewpoint, but sometimes in just hearing someone's perspective we can better relate to that person on other levels and makes us more conscience of the different levels that exist in the bigger story God has in which we play a part.  After all as much as I like to think it some days my story is not the biggest, most important one in the world.  It is only a small part of God's bigger story in which every one has their 15 minute segment that corresponds with mine, but involves their perspective and in putting those perspectives together the bigger picture starts to evolve.  Of course it evolves whether I put those perspectives together or not, but how much more effective could I be if I saw even one other person's perspective on my 15 minute segment of life?

To Live or Not to Live, That is the Question

It's funny how our life experiences can change how we see the world around us.  Earlier this year I found myself challenged by a friend to take the work I do on a daily basis and view it from the possible spiritual angles it presented.  At first I found myself thinking I'd try it, but not truly expecting it to impact my life in any significant way.  It would be a slight variation to the way I saw the world around me, but life would go on without any profound changes.

I'm still not entirely for sure what happened, but as I thought about the comparisons that had been made between the medical aspect of the heart and the world of work I had become so familiar with over eight years of nursing something happened.  I found myself looking at a world I was so familiar with through different eyes.  The things that had become routine for me began to take on an entirely different meaning. 

The interesting thing was that this thought process followed me to my position in Hospice which gave a new meaning to some of the ideas that were presented in this new field.  One of those was the idea of when you are facing death you learn to be aware of life and in doing so learn how to truly live.  Well, with the challenge still in my mind of looking for the spiritual application it brought a whole other meaning with it.

The thought I was left with is from a spiritual sense how much more spiritually aware would we become if we were to die to the world's idea of what life should be and what success is?  How much do we not live by attempting to live an ideal dictated by the status quo?  Is it possible that by striving for that ideal we exist rather than truly live as God intended us to?  What would happen if we were to allow ourselves to lose the idea of success that we have come to accept as "normal"?

For me I find that what began as a casual challenge has now become something I can't get away from.   It has changed the way I look at my everyday life and in doing so has changed me.  It has challenged me to evaluate what is important in life and in doing so how I live mine. 

Being vs. Doing

What is a life sold out to God?  As someone who grew up in church and often heard how we need to "sell out to God", "surrender our life to Him"  and "die to the world".  I'm sorry to say eventually I came to the place that it really didn't matter how it was phrased I began tuning it out thinking the idea was this high spiritual plane that I could never even hope to achieve so what was the use in trying?  In my mind it became better to simply not try rather than try and be reminded of my shortcomings.  Not necessarily the right attitude to have, but one that I was able to function with.

I'm not sure at what point the light bulb actually went off in my head, but at some point I came to a realization about the problem with my thought process.  I was operating under the idea that I had to "fix" myself so to speak before I could "surrender completely".  I had to make myself acceptable before I could expect God to accept what I had to offer.  In other words, I had Cain's problem.  I thought somewhere in me there was something that God would be honored to accept for his service if I just worked hard enough at it.  I think it was at that point I realized plans are good.  To go through life never having a thought as to what you will do next is not really an option, but how often was I guilty of trying to plan how my spiritual life would go.  I realized that in much the same way I would plan my day out at work, I'll do A, B and C before lunch, D, E and F after lunch and if I get to G and H that's great, but they could wait until tomorrow.  I was applying that to my spiritual life.  If I could read a certain amount of Scripture that day, spend a set amount of time in prayer and go to church a set number of times a week my spiritual obligations had been fulfilled and if I repeated this enough one day I could maybe reach that place where I was "sold out" to God. 

The moment I realized that God doesn't want perfection, he wants willingness was a life changing point for me.  It meant stepping back and not doing, but being.  In doing I was showing others what I could do for God.  If my attitude is wrong I might even be trying to show them how fortunate God is to have someone like me representing him on the humble earth.  The interesting thing about the word do is that in any form it can pretty much stand by itself in a sentence.  It doesn't depend on another word to help define it's intent.  As for being, that's another story entirely.  It needs other words to show it's true and full meaning.  For me that meant that in being rather than doing I have to allow something other than my own steam to define the sentence of my life.  If I can do something in my own power, if people can look at my life and totally explain everything that happens by my strength and endurance then I'm really not living a life that emphasises the wonder and strength of God.  If I can show how I planned to get from point A to point B it's my story, but if there is no human way to explain how point B came from point A, well that's a story that only God can write!

A friend recently made the observation that he believes the way we go through things is the way God makes sure we learn well the lessons he's teaching us.  I must admit that based on my life in the last five years I completely agree with him.  Somehow the struggles as you try to accept that God has a bigger picture in mind while dealing with the daily disappointments of life not being where you anticipated at this point in your life take on a different view when you make it through that lesson and are on the other side.  I think that acceptance that we cannot manage the outcome and giving up control over some part of our life where maybe we didn't even realize control was such an issue for us is one of the hardest parts in the idea of being versus doing.  There is a part of us that wants to sit down and work on our ten year plan so that we feel productive, but the still small voice didn't come when Elijah was calling down fire on Mount Carmel it came when he was at his lowest and couldn't "do" anything to help himself.  In much the same way we have to come to the place that we are willing to "be" the conduit that God can use to show his greatness rather than showing the world how great God is by what we "do".